Ego or instict?

Hi,

I'm Brandon.

One of the most common misconceptions about me is that I have a big ego, a lot of pride and also a bit hot-headed. To be honest, all those that have the privilege of saying that should probably know something:

You are what you eat and years of drinking from poisoned chalices gave me that bit of attitude.

The beginning

All we were, were just kids with big dreams, raw talent, and we knocked on several doors hoping to be guided. When we knocked, we were hopeful that the responsible people we looked up to would lend a hand. The problem wasn't the number of no's we received. It was the false yeses, the false starts and the fake promises. The outright no made us up our game, especially when there was feedback. What I am talking about is the yes men (gender neutral, btw) who would tell us that we were on the right track just to keep us away from the right avenues and tables.

What went wrong

(This part should not be mistaken for anger, but just facts) Now imagine, we get to these rooms that were previously closed to us, the long way (where people could have shown us the way...). And I am not being entitled... These were people that were responsible for shaping the trajectory of our careers. I am talking about lecturers, role models and so many offices out there. Now we get to these tables and realise that during the entire time they were gatekeeping.

And what caused the attitude

Well, when we joined the supposedly big rooms where we were not supposed to be in, there was a chance to be ushered in and be welcomed. And to be honest, I am not sure if that would entirely change our perceptions of them. Maybe they would, maybe they wouldn't. But the fact that we were looked down upon and every achievement was belittled. Where people who did not know us welcomed us, those who knew us reminded us of who we were in order to maintain their superiority. Not where we had come from. Not the journey. But the image of the lost kids. The confused ones.

Sometimes I feel like the resentment we carry is overkill. They were people protecting their position. But the next time we sit at the table and they claim that we are rude — the question will always be this. Is it ego? Or instinct. Or a reaction.

Let's connect via the following platforms: LinkedIn, on X as @Rogue0015, or check the Sessionize speaker profile if you want this signal live on your stage. And if you're new here, start with the talks — this blog is their echo.